Crimes, illusions ... insanity

“There’s no surrender without fight” that is what I use to think, but sometimes your “demons” inside don’t need to struggle, maybe they just need to wait for the right moment to flood the “hell” out of your life, maybe they are just obtaining enough power to get out. When this day comes, there’s nothing you can do, this is when your nightmares come true, because you don’t fear what people can do for you, but what kind of things you can do under the possession of evil, sometimes it’s just an excuse to do what in your deep inside you want to do. In my case I still don’t know, the bodies and blood were so real, I could swear I washed away a blood stain, I could swear I saw you claiming for another chance, I could swear I got that axe …. but everything is too cloud in my mind, that’s why I put chains to hold myself, I need to make sure if I really killed you….love.

Taking control...

Woke up in a place I do not know, listening voices seeing nothing but someone crawling, he looks like me, I run to see his face and there’s no eyes in it, he’s claiming my name and I hold his hand, he grabs my head as if could still all my memories….i lie on the ground….getting unconscious again….. Now I’m crawling and I cannot see nobody, the fake me stole my eyes….. stole my life..he took the control.

Insomnia

Insomnia is killing me day by day and I cannot get rid of it, my time is getting even shorter, my mind is sick, it seems there’s no chance for me, because all my hope is gone and I know that certainly madness has caught me, my cries of agony can’t be heard, I’m stuck in something as a prisoner with chains all around me.

Me, My Shadow and My Monster

Not so cold, 

not so dark,

but a dense frightening feeling controlling my mind.

Things becoming gray, 

it’s like a black & white movie; 

and now I can’t define the colors,

but I see my shadow on the floor, 

it’s so different,

taking another form, 

crossing the line of abstract, 

I can see it looking at me,

even it has no eyes, 

but something in the other side is hunting me,

calling me … saying “I am the monster that you’ve created".

Changes

Imagine if one day when you looked in the mirror you could see in the other side someone not only a reflex but  a real repetition of yourself, this other person only looked like you but his attitudes were completely different, all your skills were his weakness and all his skills were your weakness. How could be this one? If you could change place and let this other one assume your life would you do that because this other one would be better than you?

Life is like that

    When the time is passing by you realize that your life is a sequence of repetitive actions that most of them you'd like to forget.

Sick Mind

A strange noise was heard outside, maybe a gunshot or a painful screaming of a miserable soul. I’m sitting on my armchair in my apartment, drinking a whiskey with no ice, doing something to kill my agony, trying to shut up the voice of my conscience that accuses me every day.  That noise was so unfair breaking  into the night, tearing the silence, a noise so clear I could swear it didn’t came from outside, smelling a coughing   smoke, sitting on my armchair in my apartment, in one hand a cup with your blood in the other  hand a gun …. It is so clear now, I loved you so much I couldn’t resist, now I can see your head everyday on the wall of my apartment.

Take a look around you

           Sometimes when we look for solution this hunting drives us crazy, blind us and makes us so stupid that most of the times the solution is so close, but we try to punish ourselves and we create the solution of a problem that we also created. We don't believe we can have easy answers to our problems, the other ones everything is easier, but we don't take a look around ourselves to see our possible solution... maybe the solution is you...

Who are you?

    These days here in Brazil people go crazy about carnival, they usually celebrate a great party lots and lots of drinks and sex for 5 days, but in the end, when you back home, turn on the tv and the blood and lives wasted during these days, and you did a great contribution for that, may you say "I like enjoying my life and there's nothing wrong", or "police officers were there and i didn't kill anyone". You killed the chance to say a big STOP to this kind of politics where they don't care about us, where you only see police officers on the street during the carnival, where you see ambulances all the time but when you need they never get you, where money is wasted easily and our education is a chaos... who are you that judge yourself a critic to the politicians but contribute a lot to them keep doing the same they were doing .... NOTHING

Step by step

           A lot of people go crazy in a search of success, but few reach the top, maybe cuz on the top there’s no place to everyone, maybe things are not so fair, maybe some are get prepared and others no and so on. But one thing we know about people who reach the top, they never stop, they walk step by step, they keep going, go ahead, never give up, they are people who deny themselves.  The problem is, who wants to pay the price, the reason on the top there’s no place to everyone is due to there’s a long climb up and there’s not a lot of people ready to go till the end.

Tolerance

Lack of tolerance is an attitude is showed easily around us, when we turn on TV, walking on the street or unfortunately we can see in ourselves, it seems everyone is an adept of the "broken window theory". The root of this problem is our difficult to handle unusual what is unusual to us, we can’t tolerate what is “different”, it doesn’t matter if it is style, culture or accent, the trth is that we use to be afraid of unknown.  

What the real progress consist of?

Is so funny how the society preaches people are running into a progress, people are getting more and more knowledge and so on. I really have an impression of something wrong as C.S Lewis define the society thought about progress “they think any kind of change is a progress, but progress is a changing that results in improvement”.  

Faith Is Blind

     I was taking note of a song titled “Faith is Blind”; I was really attracted to get the meaning behind this quote. Obviously if we are blind we are not able to visualize things around us. So when we have dreams we have to be focus on them to reach our aims, so our faith has to be blind to not see other things that can distract us during our journey. There’s no point believing without faith, there’s no point having faith with no focus, because when we stop looking forward for a moment we forget how the face of success is.


S.D.G
Hudson Mustaine

Not easy to say goodbye

         Sometimes we face some kind of situations that if we could we would never face before, but we have to, it's the life, most of these are when we have to say the truth to someone, when we have to say "I'm sorry, but you have to go" or "I'm afraid you're wrong". Speak the truth is an exercise of dignity, harder it seems this is the way we have to act, not telling we have to be the boring guy who thinks is the perfect one and point the finger on people’s face telling them how imperfect they are, but we have to say the right thing at the right time to the right person.

God bless you all
Hudson Mustaine